Monday, January 5, 2009

In Rememberance of My Beloved Sayang, Wife, Mother and Friend.

It was Saturday 4.15 pm. 5 January 2008. It was the time and date that have changed my life and the life of my 4 kids for ever. Today is exactly one year my dearest Sayang have left us. It was the day she had succumbed to Breast Cancer after 4 years 7 months of endurance. And today is exactly one year of her passing.

I still vividly remember that very moments she left us. I was besides her. So were the kids and our siblings. We gathered around her bed in anticipation of last breathe. She had shown all the signs that she was leaving us. I was hesitant to let her go but deep inside me, I had too. She had suffered so much in my very own eyes.

Whilst taking care of her, I saw her squirming of pain she had to endure but without any verbal communication. She can't speak then. Even if she speaks I can hardly hear or understand what she was saying. I had to inject her with painkiller and drugs as instructed by the nurse, just to keep her calm from the intense pain. I pity her. I cared for her.

Ky is the most positive person that I had ever known in my life. She is a very outgoing and independent person. Also the happy go lucky kind of person. She is loved by so many people around her. She had touched so many souls. And her passing was missed by so many people.

I remembered telling her that she and I will go thru this ordeal together. - for better or for worst. That was my promise that I made to her the day Dr Kamal, the Oncologist and Dr Anis, the surgeon, broke the news in the hospital room in SJMC sometimes in May 2004. I vividly remembered that she didn't cry hearing the new. She was a tough lady. I didn't know what to do or what to think then. I felt the world had gone upside down. Everything seems to go against us. But she stayed cool. But I believe Allah loves her more than we do. So that's why He took away her from us.

So this morning, after sending Mimi for her 1st day of school this year, I got my silent moment at her resting place. No one was at the graveyard except me.


Dear Sayang,

Yes it has been one year you left us. Even though we were reluctant to let you leave us, but Allah loves you more. Allah has found you a better place to rest while you wait for us.

As for the kids, I have taken care for them as I have promised you. Don't worry about them as I will take care of them. After all they are my kids too remember! They are growing up but I never forget to remind them to think of you. I always reminded them to see you at your pusara and also to read at Al Fatihah for you whenever they remember you. I always reminded them your advise whenever they did something wrong.

I never forget to praise Allah and request Him to forgive you and me. As He is the only one who can Forgive what we have done.

And today is 5 January 2009. Exactly a year you left us. You might not be with us anymore Sayang but surely you will be in my heart forever and ever. And no one can get you away from me. Till we meet in Jannah - my prayers and doa will always be for you.

May you be in a place amongst the chosen one by Allah.

Missed you so much.




. said...

I hope I will be as kind as your late wife so my husband will remember me like you did to your late wife...very painful blog to read.. i hope i learnt something..

Ydiana said...
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