Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Happy Mothers Day Sayang

"Ayah! Mimi nak buat Mother's Day card for Mak. Syyhh.. jangan bagi tau Mak tau". My little darling daughter preparing a card for her Mak. She reminded me about the upcomings Mother's Day is on 13 May. She is so thoughtful and I believe she's getting it from her Mak. So she start cutting the pink coloured manila card in shape of a heart.

Her Mak and of course, my beloved wife, Ky, is now 46. We were born the same year. We met in the University where she did her Psychology and I studied Business. She is closest to Mimi, our only daughter and who could always relate to her.

This Mother's Day which falls in May also a benchmark in her life. I remember in May 2003, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was after months of body aching. She first thought was fibroid but was later confirmed cancer after the a biopsy was done. It was a devastating moment for all of us.

At 42, she was very active in what she does. A choleric and determined person, she was full of life. She knows what to strive for in life. A mother of 4 young kids, she has planned the best for them. In between being a mother, a wife, a sister, a friend, a counsellor, etc. the news of having cancer bleaks the day for her. It was a devastating moment for me too.

When the Dr. Kamal, the Oncologist and Dr. Anis, the Surgeon, sat down with us to break the news, it was the most intensifying moment. I felt my limbs were numbed and my heart stopped. I felt hopeless. Ky on the other hand was more relax as if she were expecting the worst.

That was the begining of the journey for us; she being a cancer patient, a mother, a wife, a counsellor and so forth. I told her to take one thing at a time. At that point of time, the most important thing for her is to get through this ordeal. Health first for her.

The most immediate course of action is for her to have Chemotherapy. At stage 4, the cancer cells have spread from her breast to the lungs and spinal bones. She has to take 6 cycles of the chemo. Initial 2 cycle were ok as the chemo have not reacted much on her. After that hair falls off, nausea, temperature rises occasionally and she starts loosing weight.

She was strong enough to go though all the cycles. Of course, supplements was always on hand to overcome the lost in appetides. I was fortunate to be able to be with her on every doctors appoinments and every chemo. That was 3 years ago.

After the 6 cycles of distressing chemo, the Oncologist recommended her to take the hormone therapy i.e. tablets form, but she has to stop her mestruation cycle by injecting some hormone related drug. But after nearly 2 years, this hormone therapy can't do much either. So the Oncologist suggest to do another 6 round of chemo using another drugs.

To our dissapointment, after 4 cycles of chemo, the cancer cells have spread to the brain, the lung and liver. Thus she has to do 5 cycles radiotherapy to the brain. One of the side effect was the hair loss. I told her, the hair loss in nothing as long as she survive.

Now after 4 years : 10 cycles chemotherapy, 2 years of hormone therapy and 5 radiotherapy later, she is still with us. Health-wise she is ok. But she always take this positively. She is more religious now than before. She reads Quran almost after every prayers, do lots of zikir and doa. Of course as for me, I never forget to pray for her well-being in every doa after solat.

Cancer might have robbed her of her livelyhood but never rob her of her will to live. She has been a good mother, good wife, a good person. I have told her before that life and death is the work of Allah. We cannot determine when we die or how long we can live. Anybody will go if Allah wanted to. But as long as we live, we have to live life the fullest.

To my dearest beloved Sayang - You are a winner to me. Happy mother's day Sayang.


Brother Lans said...

Zam,aslkum.BroLans here from Putrajaya.Very the touching-lah your story.It reminds me of a statement "if we think our problems are the worst,there are people out there who are facing more severe problems".
Alhamdullillah you & family managed to get thru all those.Wishing u all the best.Send me an email will you: roslansster@gmail.com
I want your mobile no.Wsalam
p/s Zam,I've saved your wedding pic since I was not available during your big day.*ok ke Bro?*

Kata Tak Nak said...

At atage 4 and they can still survive so long? I am glad I read this coz that gives me hope as to my brother's case.
Anyway I was checking on my visitors when I come across one who gained access to my blog through you URL. I am glad I did. My prayers.

Melancholy Phlegmatic said...

brother lans:

Thanks for the note.Ssorry for not emailing you earlier. Been busy lately.

My wedding photo? Alamak tu gambar 17 years ago.. dah lama. Anyway, you are welcome to save it as long as you know whose wedding it is cos I look much different now.

Kata tak nak:

Thanks for dropping by.
Yeah they are people who survived even after stage 4 of cancer. That's Allah work.

Anyway I was also reading other blog when I stumble onto yours.Love to read your blog that's why I added yours in. Thanks.