Monday, March 10, 2008

My Boys

Angah has reached his 16th birthday yesterday : Sunday 9 March 2008. I wasn't home on Sunday morning to wish him Happy Birthday as I slept over at my mom's place. You migth ask me why right?

Well, my 2 elder sisters, who were staying with my mom, were hospitalised. One had to go through bone operation to take out the iron rod out of her pelvic bone and the other had to make a minor operation to replace the tubing for her dialysis on her neck. And that left my mom alone with the Indonesian maid. Well the maid is not realiable as well. And with mom on wheel chair and bed ridden most of the time, we as her children have to take more care of her.

This morning my little sister called me and told me that the maid had absconded. Yesterday when I left mom's house about 3.00pm, I told her to really take care of mom. Well you can't actually trust Indonesian maid nowadays. Today she put a "good face" and beheve well. The next minute, they are gone. True enough.

Anyway Angah called me about noon yesterday and asked me if he could go for a "Gigs" somewhere in Jalan Maharajalela in KL - god knows where is that place. He would be going with Along and a few of his friends. Since it's school holiday and it's a weekend, I told him it's ok to go, provided he has to behave well and take care of himself.

Note: I believe "Gigs" is a place where the Indies bands play music and mostly patroned by teenages and young adults. Maybe it's a trend nowadays.

Sometimes I felt that I should not control my boys too much. As part of growing up, they want to be where their friends are. And "Gigs" is a place to go where they would listen to the underground music or what not. And since Angah is into music, he would want to be where his peers be.

My advise is very simple. No smoking and No drugs. Learn how to take care of themself and be wise enough to think what should and what should not be done.

I remember when I was growing up especially when I was still schooling in a boarding school. But obviously those days were totally different compared to now. We hang out at shopping complexes during the weekends, watched movies sometimes or just hang out in the hostel dormitory doing nothing. But nowadays, they have places where they do "gigs". Too many shopping complexes and some of them I haven't been into.

Anyway Angah and Along wasn't around when I got back home about 3.00pm. Only Acik was home doing his homework. Since I had to go to Bangsar I left home again about 5.00pm and came back about 9.00pm. Both boys haven't come back yet and when I called them, they told me that they are still in KL. They only came back when I was already in bed about mid-night.

Sometimes I just don't what to do with the boys. If I said to them not to go, they would give all kind of excuses. If I let them go, they will always come back too late. Should I be strict and cruel to them or should I be a bit "relaxed" and let them learn about life on their own.

Being a father is not easy. When you are too strict, your kids would be complaining that you don't love them. But when you are too relax, they would step on you. And sometimes you don't know which position you want to be in. But you know you want some control over them. I don't know whether I should do the "trial and error" position. What it means is that I wil try a few ways. If this doesn't work, try another way. Or should I depend on situation to take any position.

Well, I guess that is part of being a parent with growing up children. But then again, I am a single parent. I have to handle it all by myself. All the burden and responsiblities are on my shoulders. May Allah show me the best way. Insyaallah.

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