Yesterday when I was getting ready to go for a nephew's wedding suddenly Mimi asked me:
Mimi : Ayah baju jubah mak yang mak beli dekat Kluang tu mana dia?"
Me : Yang mana satu ni? Yang ni ke? ( I showed her the one in floral Green).
Mimi: A'ah tapi mak ada satu lagi yang colour pink tu. Yang mak beli kat Kluang tu.
Me : (After checking the rest of of Ky's baju in the closet, I couldn't find one.) Entah lah Mimi. Entah-entah Ayah dah bagi kat Kak Siti kot (one of my niece who could fit into Ky's dress - the rest a bit too big). Mengapa Mimi nak baju tu.
Mimi : Mimi nak simpan baju tu. Kalau tak makcik-makcik Mimi saja yang boleh akai baju tu. (wow what an instruction from my baby girl)
So this afternoon after my Asar prayers I suddenly thought of opening Ky's closet.
Somehow or rather, lots of memories suddenly came into my mind. Really lots of memories. Each of her dresses: whether a baju kurung, jubah or many other outfits reminded me of where and in what occasions she wore it.
I particularly remembered the floral pink long dress when she wore during Simon & Diana's high tea party, or the light purple lace with inner dress at a wedding, or the navy blue sequined long dress she wore at one of the Weekend Leadership Seminar. And many more dresses at many more occasions. I remember them all.
I can still picture her in the beautiful dress she wore. She would smile from ears to ears when I complimented her for dressing so well and beautiful. Who shouldn't be right, especially when her own husband complimented her. Her "Love Language" is "words of affirmations". (Do read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman). So she would loves kind words, complimentary and the simple word "I love you" from me.
Now all that has passed. All I can do is just remember the good old days when she was still around.
And the song by Mariah Carrie "My All" suddenly came into my mind when I was flipping her dress. Yes maybe she is all "MY ALL".
My All - Mariah Carrie
I am thinking of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it's wrong to love you
Then my heart just won't let me be right
'Cause I've drowned in you
And I won't pull through
Without you by my side
I'd give my all
To have just one more night with you
I'd risk my life
To feel your body next to mine
'Cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all
For your love tonight
Baby, can you feel me
Imagining I'm looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you're so far
Like a distant star
I'm wishing on tonight
I'd give my all
To have just one more night with you
I'd risk my life
To feel your body next to mine
'Cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all
For your love tonight
I'd give my all
To have just one more night with you
I'd risk my life
To feel your body next to mine
'Cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all
For your love tonight
I'd give my all for your love
Tonight
1 comment:
Dear PM,
Clothes do bring back a lot of memories, and during the first few months, sometimes I can smell his presence when I hug onto his clothing. It took me 4 years to put his clothes away out of the closet, only because my son needed the closet space. Otherwise, I would have left them hanging there. Lots of people aka advisers tell me to put his belongings away as a form of closure. I prefer to have as many of his things around. Even the smallest things trigger a past event, and it will always make me smile. Everyone handles bereavement differently. Do what you feel is right for you.
Memories are a wonderful thing.
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