Tuesday, January 29, 2008

She's Aint Heavy, She's My Lover

I was driving home from work this evening. The road was a bit jammed especially when it was drizzling on the PLUS highway. The radio was on with some music that I don't really bother to hear. My thought was away somewhere else while I was driving, and I'm not really concentrating on the road.

My mind suddenly thought of the moment when I was with Ky. I don't know why but that spear moments really came into my mind, very vividly in my mind.

It was Saturday, January 2008, about 3 a.m. Everybody was so sleepy. My sisters in law who have been keeping eyes on Ky were too sleepy by now. There had already found a spot somewhere to sleep. I don't know why but somehow my heart forced me to volunteer myself to be awake to take care of Ky.

I started to read Yassin besides Ky, whom I think was in-between awake and asleep. Ustazah Ida already told us to read Quran or Yassin continuously despite Ky is sleeping or not. She told us that Ky could still hear us even thought she might be unconscious. That's was the effect of the painkiller she had been taking or probably because her liver was weakening and it had affected other internal organs.

She suddenly woke up and I remember vividly that she wants to hug me despite of her weakening body and practically no energy to even hold up her arms. I was sitting on a chair just beside our bed where she was sleeping. My initial reaction was getting myself nearer to her so that she can hug me easily and I got myself to hug her as well.

Without hesitation, I told her: "Sayang, kalau ada rezeki I pergi Haji nanti, I buatkan Haji untuk you sekali ya. I sayang kat you tau" She gave a nod of approval without saying anything.

I didn't know and didn't realized that it was our last hug. The very last one. She passed away peacefully about 12 hours after that. I don't feel any regret because at least I had that special moment with her together and that I had made a promise to her that one day I will do my Hajj and I promise to do for her as well. That is one of her last wishes to go for Hajj. Just thinking of that special moments really rolled tears in my eyes. To my Sayang, You Ain't Heavy, You're My Lover.

And it happend that there's a song that that will accompany you when you read this segment. It's a very touching oldies song sang by The Hollies called "He's Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" But I changed the lyrics a bit to "She's Ain't Heavy, She's My Lover".

She Ain't Heavy She's My Lover

The road is long
With many a winding turn

That leads us to who knows where

Who knows where

But I'm strong

Strong enough to carry her

She ain't heavy, she's my lover

So on we go

Her welfare is of my concern

No burden is she, to bear

We'll get there

For I know
She would not encumber me

She ain't heavy, she's my lover

If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness

That everyone's heart

Isn't filled with the gladness

Of love for one another

It's a long, long road

From which there is no return

While we're on our way to there

Why not share

And the load
Doesn't weight me down at all

She ain't heavy, she's my lover

She ain't heavy, she's my lover

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