Thursday, February 28, 2008

Be Thankful With What We Are Now

I just got back from the visiting my sister-in-law (kakak ipar) and sister-out-law (biras) in Damansara Specialist Hospital. Amazing isn't it 2 people at the same time in the hospital.

Sis-in-law, Hindun was admitted last night due to her epilepsy. She was unconcious and my other sis-in-law took her to the hospital. Kesian dia. She was not well since a week ago and didn't attend my Birthday Hi Tea but I spoke to her later to thank her for the present she gave me. She wasn't her usual self when I spoke to her.

The other sis-out-law, Kak Illah has been hospitalised since her spine operation. She was ok when I saw her today but I didn't have the chance to speak to her much as another Datin friend of her, Datin Linda Laser was with her all the time. And I was not to keen to be around DLL.

Anyway, I left after about an hour with them. But that is not the topic I want to write. What I wanted to write was about my cousin's wife, Kak Ani, whom I met when I was about to leave the Hospital. I met them at the lobby.

She was with her sister, her daughter and another niece. Of course when I met them, being a nice 'lelaki melayu terakhir' I greeted and salam them. And after all the cliche, obviously I told them the reason why I was there. And I also asked them why they were there.

Her sister told me that Kak Ani had just meet Dr Kasmini. And as far as I know, Dr. Kasmini
Kassim is a psychiatrist at that hospital. And I wonder why she went to see her. The reason was Kak Ani was in the state of depression after her husband died due to a motorcycle accident. Her husband is a cousin of mine, and they have a daugther age about 30.

No wonder when I saw Kak Ani, she was so frail, hagged and as if she didn't recognise me when I salam her. Now with the explanation from her sister, then only I understand. I really pity her.

What came into my mind was that she can't get away from the fact that she had lost someone she loved, her husband. Someone who would be around her for probably more than 30 years and suddenly he is gone.

I know it is very difficult to let go someone you love all you life and that you are now alone and can't do things together as you had done so before. Probably she can't control her emotion.

Then I relate her situation to mine. We had the same predicament. We lost the person that we love most. We were left to fend our self and to continue with our life.

Alhamdullilah I can go through it. Yes I still think of Ky. Yes Is till love her. Yes I do miss her. Yes and yes. But then again I always doa to Allah to show me the path to continue my life without her anymore. I had redha her passing and she had redha herself going peacefully.

I always think that there must be a reason for anything to happen. I strongly believe that Allah must have a very good reason for taking her away from me. For me, he has taken Ky away because he don't want her to suffer further. I believe that Ky too don't want to suffer as well and she did tell me once that she don't want to burden anybody especially me and the kids.

So thinking about it, Alhamdullilah I didn't had to go into depression state as what Kak Ani has gone through. And I don't have to see a psychiatrist. Probably I had already expected her passing after years of taking care of her. Probably Allah had answered my prayers to give me "ketenangan jiwa".

So seeing Kak Ani today, I thank Allah for giving me what I am today.


lilinbiru said...

yeah.sometimes, i think i was luckly that god borrowed me Maza for only 8 years.If not, i would have been one of the ppl kat tg rambutan kot.

Phlegmatic Melancholic said...


I strongly believe that it's up to us which direction we want to lead our lifes. If we choose to be strong when our love one leaves us, then we will be strong. If we choose otherwise, then our emotion take control of us. Itu yang nak pergi kubur pun takut sebab terlalu emotional. I can say that because I have gone thru it as well. Because I strongly believe that "life has to go on...."

Be strong Lilinbiru.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear your story although I don't agree. I don't think its a matter of being weak or strong. Depression is often brought on by a sudden loss and with the help of a psychologist or psychiatrist you may learn to be able to deal with the situation better. There is no right or wrong and what works for one person isn't right for another but we should never see mental health issues as a matter of the person not being able to control their emotions. said...

just lost my father a couples of months ago...he's the only man in my life.. google for dr kasmini and stumble upon this blogpage... i agree with anonymous 'we should never see mental health issues as a matter of the person not being able to control their emotions.' i've tried hard to control my emotions but at some point my body & soul failed to sustained therefore need assistance to get me out of it. It's not bcoz i didn't choose to be strong... i have biochemical imbalance (hormonal) based on blood test result... therefore i'm very sensitive to stress... God gave somebody with certain weekness and someone with certain strenght..not all people are the same.... cheerss.